Biodata ni Inday:
Name - Inocencia Binayubay
Nickname - Inday
Age - 18
Parents - Aling Seling at Mang Andoy
Siblings - Iying 13; Itoy 8; Ikling 5
Educational Background:
College -
Highschool - P. Gomez Highschool (Valedictorian, Best in English)
Elementary -
Work Experience :
3 years, household service manager (katulong), Mr & Mrs. Montemayor.
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Nung TANGA pa si INDAY at di pa marunong mag ingles
AMO: sagutin mo ang telepon inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak)
AMO: baligtarin mo!
INDAY: lohi? lohi?
AMO: telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili, puntili
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AMO: Inday, kunin mo nga yung Vogue magazine.
INDAY:Ma’am, Vogyu, hindi Vog.
AMO: Inday, Vog ang tamang pagbigkas.
INDAY:O sige na nga Ma’am, Vog na, there’s no need to arg!
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AMO: Inday! Ano nangyari at may bukol ang anak ko na si Junior?
INDAY:Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not so well engineered architectural of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
AMO: Ha?!? [Shocked]
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AMO: Inday, dba nanood ka ng The Buzz kanina?
INDAY: Opo. Bakit Maam?
AMO: Bakit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA?
INDAY: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they know that things will get complicated if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people don't understand you for doing so.
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AMO: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. ay o nga pala ingglesera ka na ngayon.. would you please purchase many fishes for our this week’s meals.
INDAY:Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term ‘fishes’, although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: what certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day’s catch? [pauses] aaaahh by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this household’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple ‘ga-lewng-hong’. Am I correct?
AMO: Leche!
INDAY:You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then ‘ba-ngooz’ is it.
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Dear sir/madam,
Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis..
-- si inday nag papaalam mamalengke
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High heat exerted by the stimulus affected the conductor of heat which is steel, causing the oriza sativa to change its color, smell as well as its taste.
-- sagot ni inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit sunog ang sinaing
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Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such incident and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society’s perception of our profession..
-- inday, tumangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay
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A change in the weather patterns might have occurred causing havoc to affected surroundings, the way debris are scattered indicated that the gust of wind is going northeast, causing damage to the path it is going.
-- sagot ni inday sa amo nung tinanong kung bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay
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Dear sir/ma’am,
I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company.
Yours truly,
Inday
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Slap the face of that crazy bitch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devil! I damn hate her! Duh!
-- inday watching marimar
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EDERLYN: Ikaw ba ang inday na sinasabi nila? At sino ka para itulad sa akin ang iyong kasikatan ngayong ako’y nananahimik na? Wala kang karapatan para pantayan ako! Hayop ka!
INDAY: My apologies, but the fact is, your glory days are over my friend. I find it somewhat ridiculous, your persistence on persuading people to come to your party that never existed is beginning to get into my nerves! Damn you Ederlyn! Damn you! No one undermines Inday’s intellect. Bitch!
-- nag-away na sina ederlyn at inday
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AMO: Inday! Bakit mo binenta yung sira na silya?
INDAY:I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pretax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on PPE, and PAS36 on impairment of assets.
AMO: [hinimatay]
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Why are you quoting and spreading everything I say? Am I a celebrity?!
-- si inday nagrereklamo na!
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JEEPNEY DRIVER: Hoy! Bakit
INDAY: I am currently enrolled in a two-year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact, I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because that is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix.
JEEPNEY DRIVER: ah!!!!
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Bloody hell!! What the fuck did just land on my cutie top? I mean I’ve spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I’ll have this eewy thing removed in a whip o time!
-- humirit na naman ang mataray na si inday nung natalsikan siya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia.
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I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
-- inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo!
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Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain. One French fry is worse than one cigarette.
-- inday sa amo nya kung bakit di sya nagluluto ng French fries. (Nutritionist din pala si Inday!)
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The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
-- si inday nag-eexplain kung bakit maalat ang ulam.
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Nurture others with positive, ruthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words.
-- inday nung di sya pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo nya
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Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment inflicted upon you!
-- inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na wag malikot
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It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you can handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because it sucks!
-- inday kasama si Junior sa principal's office. [Tulala ang principal]
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“The oil normalizing series specifically designed for my oily skin not only works physically on the skin surface, but penetrates deep into the skin layers to normalize oil secretion for a healthy and long-lasting oil free skin.”
- paliwanag ni Inday habang nagpapahid ng chin-chan-su
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Sa resto:
WAITER: Ano po order nila, maam?
AMO: Yung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw Inday, ano sayo?
INDAY: I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice.
AMO: Iho, pa-order daw ng adobo with rice.
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“Don’t limit my capacity to the four corners of this luxurious abode. Expose me to the real challenges of the outside world. I want to grow as an individual with dynamic experiences.”
- Inday, nagrereklamo kasi ayaw siya isama ng amo sa outing sa
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Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce.
Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil.
Lychee and peach salad with sour cream and cream chees topped with lemon zests
- baon ni Junjun sa school na inihanda ni Inday.
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Love - a widely misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart that weakens the brain, causes the eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and lips to pucker!
- Inday, gumagawa ng blog niya sa Friendster.
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(Dahil Inglisera na talaga si Inday, nakahanap ng katapat)
Kausap si Lornang labandera…
INDAY: Hey! Our majesty said wash that white clothe because that is the only white clothe of her, understood?
LORNA: Clothe! Only one? Duh! Would you mind to fill up those empty spaces of your brain, Idiot! I don’t know why people like you still exists, you’re just a scrap of humanity! Now, get lost!
INDAY: (luhaang umalis) “Ambot sa imo!”
(Hehe, yan ang yabang kasi ni Inday!)
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“For it wasn’t into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It wasn’t my lips you kissed, but my soul. May these words hold true for our romance…”
- Love letter ni Dodong kay Inday. (Kala mo si Inday lang humihirit!) HAHAHA!!!
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There are tulips in the street, there are tulips in the park, but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark.
- pamatay lines ni Dodong kay Inday.
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Sad animal facts:
1.) Ants never sleep
2.) Pigs raise their heads to look at the sky
3.) Butterflies only live for seven days
See you have 3 more reasons to be thankful for today. Being something always has its ups and downs. Just remember, while you’re complaining about your situation, someone could be wishing he/she were in your place.
- si inday chinika ang mga istambay sa kanto habang napadaan para bumili ng suka at toyo.
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500= globe plan subscription
1800=glutathione tablet
1000=croc flip flops
1,700 = padala mama
- binudget ni inday ang sweldo nya.
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“Its not that I don’t like you, its just that I feel we are still too young to entertain thoughts of fornication in the domicile of our employers. In fact its very immature to insuate that I didn’t reciprocate your emotions just because I decline to perform an act of coitus with you”
-inday ni rereject si dodong na makipag sex. Sosyal na tlaga si inday. Grabe!!
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“I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for wealth and I hope that one day you will realize that you should not use humans as means of your ends. As what the great philosopher Khan uttered “ treat a man as an end in himself”!
- sagot ni inday sa holdaper na nangholdap sa kanya
“Shut up, if you don’t want a hole in your cranium!”
-sagot ng holdaper.
Ang sosyal na tlaga nila!!!
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Proving that in this violence-oriented culture, there is no such thing as an acquiescence to giving admonitions, I was shot by a 9mm bullet in the head penetrating my cranium and causing irreparable damages to m y thinking facility and for what you might ask. For my seemingly presumptions yet convoluted obsessions likewise adroitness in verbosity. D physician did not only find that my verbal aptitude has been utterly impaired (henceforth ending my notorious knack for giving the unwary readers nosebleeds) but the pseudo medical practitioners who consider themselves gods also declared me….DEAD.
-in loving memory of Inday-
(ayan patay na cya! Sa wakes tapos na ang mga ka hibangan!)
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Even souls wander. And even if their bodies are no longer existing, they still have the capacity to communicate with the living. You may be happy for shooting me, but this I tell you.. I shall return!
-kaluluwa ni Inday. Hinde mapakali dahil sa kanyang kagimbal gimbal na pagkamatay.
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“I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth, that because of austerity I was made separated from…”
- Inday… hindi makatulog dahil nahohomesick
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“I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should’ve made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn’t platonic. It’s real, true romance.”
- -Inday, nageemote sa may bintana, habang iniisip si Dodong, ang boyfriend niya
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“The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”
- - ganito nakipagbreak si Inday kay Dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)
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“La vida no es una broma actualmente. El dinero es tan duro de pasar. Puede usted bajar el precio parci mi? Soy ya su compradora avido diario por favor?
--si Inday tumatawad sa merkado ng isinama siya ng amo sa España
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“Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessen the production in the market.”
--banat ni Inday kung bakit walang “kangkong” sa nilutong sinigang
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“Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!”
- -si Inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate… (Taray talaga ni Inday!)
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“Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substance results to increase circulation to the site promoting redness.”
--sagot ni inday nun tanungin ni sir kung bakit may rashes si Junior
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“Dear Mom,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe. Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never lot being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.
Your daughter,
Inday”
“Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!
Tatay”
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Mister: Bakit tuwing pag-uwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng TV??!!!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing!
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“Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one’s body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had.”
- -sabi ni Inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng dayoff.
AMO: Inday! Ano nangyari at may bukol ang anak ko na si Junior?
INDAY:Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not so well engineered architectural of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
AMO: Ha?!? [Shocked]
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AMO: Inday, dba nanood ka ng The Buzz kanina?
INDAY: Opo. Bakit Maam?
AMO: Bakit daw umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA?
INDAY: Sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they know that things will get complicated if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people don't understand you for doing so.
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Nung TANGA pa si INDAY at di pa marunong mag ingles
AMO: sagutin mo ang telepon inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak)
AMO: baligtarin mo!
INDAY: lohi? lohi?
AMO: telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili, puntili
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AMO: Inday, kunin mo nga yung Vogue magazine.
INDAY:Ma’am, Vogyu, hindi Vog.
AMO: Inday, Vog ang tamang pagbigkas.
INDAY:O sige na nga Ma’am, Vog na, there’s no need to arg!
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AMO: Inday bumili ka nga ng mga isda.. ay o nga pala ingglesera ka na ngayon.. would you please purchase many fishes for our this week’s meals.
INDAY:Judging from your statement, I believe you meant a variety of fish. The term ‘fishes’, although rarely and even erroneously used, connotes a plethora or an array of different kinds of the aforementioned gilled creatures. But the more pressing questions before I traverse the road to the wet market would be: what certain type of fish? Fillet or not? Frozen or just right smack the day’s catch? [pauses] aaaahh by manner of careful extrapolation, given the meager budget in this household’s quasi-peasant middle class taste, I assume then I will source the staple ‘ga-lewng-hong’. Am I correct?
AMO: Leche!
INDAY:You meant the freshwater milkfish? Then ‘ba-ngooz’ is it.
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Dear sir/madam,
Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis..
-- si inday nag papaalam mamalengke
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High heat exerted by the stimulus affected the conductor of heat which is steel, causing the oriza sativa to change its color, smell as well as its taste.
-- sagot ni inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit sunog ang sinaing
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Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such incident and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society’s perception of our profession..
-- inday, tumangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay
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A change in the weather patterns might have occurred causing havoc to affected surroundings, the way debris are scattered indicated that the gust of wind is going northeast, causing damage to the path it is going.
-- sagot ni inday sa amo nung tinanong kung bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay
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Dear sir/ma’am,
I hereby tender my irrevocable resignation as your employee today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company, but owing to personal reasons I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company.
Yours truly,
Inday
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Slap the face of that crazy bitch! You must show to her that regardless of the class we belong in the society, respect should not be put at risk! Angelika is nothing but an opportunist, heartless devil! I damn hate her! Duh!
-- inday watching marimar
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EDERLYN: Ikaw ba ang inday na sinasabi nila? At sino ka para itulad sa akin ang iyong kasikatan ngayong ako’y nananahimik na? Wala kang karapatan para pantayan ako! Hayop ka!
INDAY: My apologies, but the fact is, your glory days are over my friend. I find it somewhat ridiculous, your persistence on persuading people to come to your party that never existed is beginning to get into my nerves! Damn you Ederlyn! Damn you! No one undermines Inday’s intellect. Bitch!
-- nag-away na sina ederlyn at inday
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AMO: Inday! Bakit mo binenta yung sira na silya?
INDAY:I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pretax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on PPE, and PAS36 on impairment of assets.
AMO: [hinimatay]
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Why are you quoting and spreading everything I say? Am I a celebrity?!
-- si inday nagrereklamo na!
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JEEPNEY DRIVER: Hoy! Bakit
INDAY: I am currently enrolled in a two-year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact, I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected because that is according to the law as stated in the fare matrix.
JEEPNEY DRIVER: ah!!!!
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Bloody hell!! What the fuck did just land on my cutie top? I mean I’ve spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I’ll have this eewy thing removed in a whip o time!
-- humirit na naman ang mataray na si inday nung natalsikan siya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia.
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I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of work that you want. My creativity, productivity and work efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
-- inday sa interview ng bago nyang amo!
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Potatoes, when consumed in their raw state are rapidly converted to glucose that raises insulin levels because of its simple sugar. When cooked in high temperatures like French fries, they produce large amount of free radicals in the body causing aging, clotting, inflammation, cancer, weight gain. One French fry is worse than one cigarette.
-- inday sa amo nya kung bakit di sya nagluluto ng French fries. (Nutritionist din pala si Inday!)
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The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
-- si inday nag-eexplain kung bakit maalat ang ulam.
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Nurture others with positive, ruthful words, not words that hurt. It doesn't cost anything to do so. But mean what you say, and say what you mean. If you cannot be generous financially, at least be generous with your words.
-- inday nung di sya pinautang at pinagmumura pa ng amo nya
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Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment inflicted upon you!
-- inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na wag malikot
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Amo1: Inday, ano gamit mo sa katawan? Ang kinis mo kasi eh!
Amo2: Siguro gumagamit ka ng papaya no?
Amo1: Baka naman kalamansi?
Inday: No!
"ONLY BELO TOUCHES MY SKIN! WHO TOUCHES YOURS?"
---Lufeet ni inday!
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INDAY: Junior, why do you keep on watching that show with the hydro cephalic burn victim??? Oh that poor kid...
- si Inday nadatnan si junior na nanunuod ng KOKEY
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NAGMAMANI: ah mani mani mani... malutong mani kayo jan oh... limang piso lang mani malutong mani kayo jan oh...
INDAY: mr. peanut, are those nuts cropped from a high class soil fertilized through an advance agricultural method to produce a rich tasted appetizer which you, yes you mr. peanut fried it in a premium grade 0% fat canola oil with a low salt solution to consider those low cholesterol diet practitioner like me?
NAGMAMANI: pakyu!
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Amo: Day, paki-lipat ang comforter sa kwarto ko.
Inday: Saan ko ilalagay koya?
Amo: Ipatong mo sa
Inday: Dun na po, sinama ko na rin ang frenter at iskaner koya!
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Amo: Hoy inday, bakit ang bilis maubos nang toothpick natin?
Inday: Hoy Ma'am! Huwag nga kayong bintangera! Sampalin ko kayo diyan eh! Kapag ako gumagamit, ibinabalik ko! Leche!
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I'm not extremely good looking but I have a sense of humor. I'm not breath takingly intelligent but I'm relatively witty. I'm not insanely rich but I'm fairly kind. I'm just a simple guy with a crazy elusive ambition of meeting your acquaintance so, hi.
-Dodong
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with the upcoming holiday, I forecast travel plans to my hometown so that I may visit my family. In line with this, may I request that my financial budget be reviewed so that I may take a portion in advance? Justification as follows: for the dual purpose of
(a) finalizing my flight booking
(b) bringing tokens of appreciation to my parent, siblings, and cousins up to the third level of consanguinity.
- si Inday yan... bumabale para makapag bakasyon sa pamilya
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AMO: Inday nasan na yung sabon namin sa banyo??? ginamit mo no?!?!?!
INDAY: with due respect, i will never allow my skin to be touched by that highly commercialized so called "anti-bacterial" soap. Only BELO touches my skin. Who touches yours??? Safeguard??? Ewwww....
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